"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30
I believe it's in Pride and Prejudice that there is a line about American women being charming. In effect it says, "they're pretty because of their charm." I've thought about that line from time to time and it makes me like being an American woman. We're more confident and outgoing than is allowed in many other cultures. Being friendly and beautiful isn't to be hidden but is exalted. I would love for someone's descriptor of me to be "charming." Unfortunately, charm can also be used for personal gain. That gain can come in the form of praise. Wanting praise is a surefire way to recognize I'm seeking fulfillment in recognition, not humility. And, there we are, back to pride and the root of many things that get in the way of being like Jesus.
The first word I think of when it comes to Jesus is not, "charming." He is many things, but his humility and selflessness give evidence to his sole purpose of loving God and loving people. He is so focused on fulfilling this that time is not wasted on appearances, physical or character wise. Enough about being charming, because loving others can also give you that recognition. I just know it's not what I'm supposed to strive for. Now, the thing David says to praise women for is fear of the Lord.
I think the word fear here is misunderstood sometimes. I take it here to mean, "one who seeks holiness." God is so holy that to be in his presence with the wrong disposition is a dangerous thing. (Of course that should be elaborated on, but naptime only lasts so long...but, I would be full of fear if I was next to someone who knew everything about me and my heart was in the wrong place. This would be the fitting response, even as God is perfect love.) I don't have it all figured out and I'm not perfect, however, I can seek his holiness in me.
So, today's take away and prayer is short and sweet, "Lord, please make me more like you. Help me to not waste my energies striving after beauty and charm but rather, becoming more like you. And, in becoming more like you, teach me that it's all about grace and your love, and not about my efforts. I love you. Thank you for loving me first and giving me the Spirit to change me from the inside out."
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Let's talk
As I was changing big sister's diaper the other day she said, "let's talk mommy." Because she's two and learning a lot of words every day, I sometimes need to clarify what she's saying. "Let's talk?" I asked. "Yes. Let's talk." So I answered, "Okay, what do you want to talk about?" And even though I asked it, I thought about all the possible topics we might talk about someday. In a split second I was hoping she'd return to me many times with that line. And within that same second, my heart came up into my throat and I got terribly nostalgic and sad thinking about my baby growing up and becoming a young woman that has things to talk about that I know nothing about. Now that she's with me almost all day every day, I know most things occurring in her little world and can translate what she's saying or think about what she wants to say or ask before it's even out of her mouth. That being said, she is an individual and has her own mind and caught me off guard. Ok, enough of my head conversation, she said, "talk about Jesus." "You want to talk about Jesus?" I asked. "Yes," said with a big nod and smile because she'd said it correctly and I understood. "Ok, let's talk about Jesus!" I was excited and then thought that I might have to reign that in later when a mom's excitement means a kid gets turned off to their original idea... oh well, I'm still cool now and I'm so excited that she's interested in Jesus.
So, we went to draw a picture of Jesus and I told the story I was illustrating with each image I put on the paper. We talked about the miraculous catch of fish that Jesus gave John and Peter. I was pretty excited with my little cartoon people and the way the fish in the net turned out. Except for Jesus, it's hard to do justice to him and not make him look too Western. Oh well, she doesn't understand cultural differences yet and loves everyone the same. As I finished my drawing and the story big sister asked for me to draw another boat. I thought about explaining how that wasn't a part of the story but decided against it and added the requested boat (this was probably more accurate anyhow). Then came the request for Daddy to be in the boat, and Mommy, and big sister, and baby brother, and our dog :) I didn't know they were all going to be in the boat so that was a little tricky. Our pup looks like a dachshund. Embarrassing. So, then big sister starts to explain that just like the men in the one boat got out and started to follow Jesus, she and everyone else in our boat would do the same. She used toddler talk of course, but she was clearly saying she would get out of the boat and follow Jesus. I had said that Mommy and Daddy followed Jesus when I was talking about the disciples and it must have made a little sense to her. It was a beautiful moment. I know she doesn't understand it all yet, but I want to have the faith to put myself in the Bible stories and to ask what they mean for me. I want to challenge myself to step out on faith more. I need to remember that getting out of the boat and following Jesus, fishing for men and not fish is of far greater value. Our livelihood comes from him alone. Life lessons learned by a babe. Thanks be to God. So, I'm writing this so I don't forget that day. Because, kids cry, throw food, kick you and then hug you and say they love you and it's hard to know what to do with all that. So, today what I'm knowing I need to do is is to have more "talks" with listening, and patience to hear how things connect for my littles.
So, we went to draw a picture of Jesus and I told the story I was illustrating with each image I put on the paper. We talked about the miraculous catch of fish that Jesus gave John and Peter. I was pretty excited with my little cartoon people and the way the fish in the net turned out. Except for Jesus, it's hard to do justice to him and not make him look too Western. Oh well, she doesn't understand cultural differences yet and loves everyone the same. As I finished my drawing and the story big sister asked for me to draw another boat. I thought about explaining how that wasn't a part of the story but decided against it and added the requested boat (this was probably more accurate anyhow). Then came the request for Daddy to be in the boat, and Mommy, and big sister, and baby brother, and our dog :) I didn't know they were all going to be in the boat so that was a little tricky. Our pup looks like a dachshund. Embarrassing. So, then big sister starts to explain that just like the men in the one boat got out and started to follow Jesus, she and everyone else in our boat would do the same. She used toddler talk of course, but she was clearly saying she would get out of the boat and follow Jesus. I had said that Mommy and Daddy followed Jesus when I was talking about the disciples and it must have made a little sense to her. It was a beautiful moment. I know she doesn't understand it all yet, but I want to have the faith to put myself in the Bible stories and to ask what they mean for me. I want to challenge myself to step out on faith more. I need to remember that getting out of the boat and following Jesus, fishing for men and not fish is of far greater value. Our livelihood comes from him alone. Life lessons learned by a babe. Thanks be to God. So, I'm writing this so I don't forget that day. Because, kids cry, throw food, kick you and then hug you and say they love you and it's hard to know what to do with all that. So, today what I'm knowing I need to do is is to have more "talks" with listening, and patience to hear how things connect for my littles.
Don't forget to pray
You know why two year olds are great? Because they're trying to connect all the dots, and in their discovery of how the world works, they teach you things. We'll call my firstborn "big sister" because she has a little brother and because I'd rather not give her an online footprint outside of her control. (She can define herself online later.) Big sister knows that we pray before meals and at bedtime. When I was growing up I only remember praying before dinner, when we were all sitting down and eating together. Going to a Christian college, I was surrounded by people bowing their heads before breakfast, lunch and dinner. I realized this pk was not as spiritual as once believed. I learned a lot during college; one of the biggest lessons was my need for time with the Lord talking and listening in prayer.
So, big sister asks to pray sometimes ("pray mommy" said with urgency and her hand held out to hold) and it's usually when I've forgotten at a meal or at naptime. Since of course, it shouldn't just be limited to when you're going to bed at night. Silly me. I need to remember that I don't know it all and that there is a lot to learn from the people around me, including my children. Her prayers are also beautiful because primarily they're a time of thanksgiving to God and she is thankful for so many things. It warms my heart every time she says mommy, daddy and baby brother. She likes to list every family member and friend she has recently seen, talked to, or heard us talking of. She also likes to list everything in her current line of vision, like the truck, spoon, cheese, owl picture (that's Grandpa's house), etc. You know what's beautiful about that? She keeps her eyes open when she talks to God because she regards him as someone who is present. Well, that's what I like to think. It's hard to know how much her little two year old head can understand about God. It's probably pretty comparable in God's eyes to how we see him, because we can never fully grasp his fullness. I pray that I will make more time for God and not forget to pause more often and thank him for what he has given me. And, I pray that while two year olds like to drag out bedtime, I won't get impatient and try to rush the prayer part.
So, big sister asks to pray sometimes ("pray mommy" said with urgency and her hand held out to hold) and it's usually when I've forgotten at a meal or at naptime. Since of course, it shouldn't just be limited to when you're going to bed at night. Silly me. I need to remember that I don't know it all and that there is a lot to learn from the people around me, including my children. Her prayers are also beautiful because primarily they're a time of thanksgiving to God and she is thankful for so many things. It warms my heart every time she says mommy, daddy and baby brother. She likes to list every family member and friend she has recently seen, talked to, or heard us talking of. She also likes to list everything in her current line of vision, like the truck, spoon, cheese, owl picture (that's Grandpa's house), etc. You know what's beautiful about that? She keeps her eyes open when she talks to God because she regards him as someone who is present. Well, that's what I like to think. It's hard to know how much her little two year old head can understand about God. It's probably pretty comparable in God's eyes to how we see him, because we can never fully grasp his fullness. I pray that I will make more time for God and not forget to pause more often and thank him for what he has given me. And, I pray that while two year olds like to drag out bedtime, I won't get impatient and try to rush the prayer part.
Monday, July 7, 2014
A new beginning
This is it, now starts downtown living. Day one, moving in and getting the kids settled. There were a lot of things going on that day and I don't know that I was overwhelmed as much as I was just plain tired at the end of the day. I know I was looking for the presence of God and wanting his direction in this whole process. Day 2, God speaks clearly through Proverbs 2 in some specifically applicable ways to our new neighborhood.
Proverbs 2 New International Version (NIV)
Moral Benefits of Wisdom
2 My son, if you accept my words
and store up my commands within you,
2 turning your ear to wisdom
and applying your heart to understanding—
3 indeed, if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding,
4 and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,
5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.
6 For the Lord gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
7 He holds success in store for the upright,
he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,
8 for he guards the course of the just
and protects the way of his faithful ones.
and store up my commands within you,
2 turning your ear to wisdom
and applying your heart to understanding—
3 indeed, if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding,
4 and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,
5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.
6 For the Lord gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
7 He holds success in store for the upright,
he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,
8 for he guards the course of the just
and protects the way of his faithful ones.
9 Then you will understand what is right and just
and fair—every good path.
10 For wisdom will enter your heart,
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.
11 Discretion will protect you,
and understanding will guard you.
and fair—every good path.
10 For wisdom will enter your heart,
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.
11 Discretion will protect you,
and understanding will guard you.
12 Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men,
from men whose words are perverse,
13 who have left the straight paths
to walk in dark ways,
14 who delight in doing wrong
and rejoice in the perverseness of evil,
15 whose paths are crooked
and who are devious in their ways.
from men whose words are perverse,
13 who have left the straight paths
to walk in dark ways,
14 who delight in doing wrong
and rejoice in the perverseness of evil,
15 whose paths are crooked
and who are devious in their ways.
16 Wisdom will save you also from the adulterous woman,
from the wayward woman with her seductive words,
17 who has left the partner of her youth
and ignored the covenant she made before God.[a]
18 Surely her house leads down to death
and her paths to the spirits of the dead.
19 None who go to her return
or attain the paths of life.
from the wayward woman with her seductive words,
17 who has left the partner of her youth
and ignored the covenant she made before God.[a]
18 Surely her house leads down to death
and her paths to the spirits of the dead.
19 None who go to her return
or attain the paths of life.
20 Thus you will walk in the ways of the good
and keep to the paths of the righteous.
21 For the upright will live in the land,
and the blameless will remain in it;
22 but the wicked will be cut off from the land,
and the unfaithful will be torn from it.
and keep to the paths of the righteous.
21 For the upright will live in the land,
and the blameless will remain in it;
22 but the wicked will be cut off from the land,
and the unfaithful will be torn from it.
Perfect. We need wisdom. I am so thankful for a God that has an answer to all things and who knows just what I am thinking. I didn't know that this downtown living would mean having prostitutes on the corner across from our house. My heart wants to sigh and I realize my limitations. I hope that God will give us wisdom in how to love those around us in tangible and intangible ways. And oh may we use this opportunity to teach our children about God's grace and how he sees us as beautiful and perfect in his sight.
To be continued...
Footnotes:
- Proverbs 2:17 Or covenant of her God
New International Version (NIV) Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
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